feeling the need for change

Do you ever feel stuck when you do the same things for a long time? Or that you aren't growing because you are comfortable? I feel like that might be where I am at right now. I feel change really pulling at me. I feel like I am being led to some different things. 

I'm definitely way better with change than I used to be. I was looking through old posts and found this one from almost 5 years ago. I remember all of that so well and yet, it also feels like sooo long ago.

I'm just feeling like things in my life need "shook up" a little bit.  Am I alone in these feelings?

We have had VBS this week. The theme is "Weird Animals" and I just love it so much. The first day we learned that even when you feel left out, Jesus loves you! Day two was even though you are different, Jesus loves you! Today was when life seems dark and hard to understand, Jesus loves you!
I have been in one of the craft rooms and I have been really enjoying working with some great friends! I have been so exhausted every afternoon though. I think it is low blood iron and getting up early. I do wish I was getting some sleep in time!

Shifting Focus

I've been faced with a tough decision lately. It is one of those decisions that is extremely hard to make because it involves relationships. 

This past year has been VERY hard on our family (our nuclear family).  Not hard in the ways that life can sometimes be hard, but hard nonetheless.

Tim has a lot of responsibility and stress at work and often he has duties on weeknights. I have become über involved in volunteering at school and I participate in some church activities. Throw all that in with taking care of a home, taking care of two kids, homework, reading, baths, packing, moving, unpacking, family get togethers and whatever else, life can get overwhelming. 

Before the kids were in school, we had very leisurely days. Leisurely as in we didn't have a lot of plans and we didn't go many places. We also lived in a small town during most of that time. And it was so nice not *having* to do anything. 

I spent time with the kids, did house projects, read, cooked, and just did home related things. 

I've learned lately that I miss that so bad. I love being a wife and mother and a homemaker. 

I want to be more relaxed and focus all of my attention on my family. Not that I am not currently focusing on them, but I could be focusing all my attention and be a lot more relaxed while doing it!

In saying all of that, those are the reasons that have led me to make the decision I'm making in our life. I believe this decision will give me back more time that I have invested in other things this past year. 

Don't get me wrong, I have been doing good with what I've been doing, but that doesn't always mean that it is right for my family at this time. 

My family deserves the best me and that's what I'm working on giving them.

f/9  1/500  Iso 400

Life is one big change and evolution

My days really seem to move at a faster pace than they used to. It feels like this past year has flown by. Inside these busy days, there have been SO many good things happening.

I do longingly remember the days of toddler hood. We had a nice, relaxing routine- get up, eat breakfast, play, possibly a morning nap, lunch, a little play, glorious afternoon nap and then playtime before daddy came home.

Sometimes, we also went to the library and occasionally the store, but that was it. Plus, being in a small town, there weren't many other options of things to do! But I reveled in the simplicity.
Of course now, we are in a more populated area and the kids are school-aged, and with school, activities and church, our busyness has sometimes felt never ending!
But things are starting to come to an end (for the summer anyway).

In a couple of weeks, I will officially be a mother of a kindergartner and a first grader (wha??)! 

I am so proud of everything the kids have learned and accomplished this year. 

I'm so proud of them sometimes that I could bust! 

It is so amazing to watch them grow and learn! They have both learned scripture verses, both are READING, C Girlie has been learning ballet and B Boy is learning to play baseball.
As happy as all of this makes me, I have to be honest and say that I am truly looking forward to a low key summer!
The kiddos will have swim lessons and VBS, but other than that, we are only doing fun summer things! I'm so excited to be volunteering to help with VBS this year. Our church has an amazing program. I took the kids to it last year, but we have met so many people in the church since then and I totally feel comfortable volunteering now. 

That is another thing that blows my mind- this time last year, we knew no one in our church. 

We started Sunday School last August and other activities at church and has made a world of difference. It has been so great meeting and getting to know so many wonderful people. 

I know this post is wordy, but it feels like a chapter is closing and a new one one is opening. 

Of COURSE, I must reflect on this, lol! 

I am beginning to feel that I am a part of my church, school, and community. 

This July, we will have lived here for two years. It does take time to find your place, at least it seems to for me. 

I feel like I have grown in my spirit so much.

 
Moving to a new community and losing my MIL and being away from my best friend almost broke me. 

I had a hard time for months, maybe longer.

I feel like I've overcome that. 

My heart has been healing. God has been healing it. 

My struggle now is watching my children become their own selves, big kids. But, I recognize my struggle and I try to give it to God. I'm sure there will always be a part of me that is sad to see them grow, but oh, how amazing it is as well. 

I feel like turning 30 was a major milestone for me. In a few days, I'm going to be a "thirty-something" from now on. And I'm good with that. 

Last year, I was sad to see my 20's gone. 

This year, I'm excited to see what the 30's have in store.

 

I never knew that I would change so much as an adult. 

I hope to pass that on to my kids, that life is one big change and evolution. We are continuing to grow everyday. Maybe only in our spirit, but some form of change will constantly be taking place.

Kindergarten Mother's Day program 2012

Pictured (left to right): Soon-to-be 1st grader, Soon-to-be 31 year old, Soon-to-be Kindergartner