A mother

Almost every day that I've been a mother, I've prayed that God would make me a better one.  
It's hard to believe that I've been entrusted with two precious souls to lead and guide and care for. I feel so inadequate. Being a mother is such an important job and I learn that more every year.

I didn't have a lot of life skills demonstrated for me as I was growing up. I'm the child of two parents with mental illness. I don't have a great relationship with my mother. I wasn't raised around extended family. I didn't have babies to dote on. Its a wonder I have done half as good a job as I have done!

I'm so glad that every morning I can wake up to start a new day, to work harder, to speak softer, and to love deeper. 
These two babies mean the world to me. I see so much of myself in both of them even though they have such different personalities.  Some of the things I see in them, I wish I didn't. I see things they learn from me. 
These are the things that I wake up every day and ask God to help me with.  I know that He keeps working on me, and I pray that He continually works in their hearts throughout their lives.  

I cannot think of a bigger blessing than the day that each of them will choose to follow Christ.  It's not my job to make that happen; it's my job to guide them and live in a way that they long to have what they see in me.  
That seems so daunting after I write those words.  I just feel so imperfect and I hope and pray that somehow, they will see Christ in me.  

These kids bring me more happiness than I ever dreamed.  When I see what they accomplish and how they are growing into their own persons, I am overwhelmed. 

There has been nothing else in my life that has changed me as much, been harder, or been more joyful than being a mother.  

Happy things

I always get a little case of seasonal affective disorder.  

January and February are the hardest months on me.  

So far, I have been holding steady and not experiencing any symptoms! 

I suppose there has been plenty of sunshine and things going on to keep me otherwise occupied.

Last week and this weekend were really, really great too- they were filled with lots of happy things!

In case you think my house might be clean....

I'm so proud of this girl!

Wednesday, I had my friends, April and Jennifer & her little girl over for donuts and visiting.

It was so great to chat and catch up!  I love getting to watch little ones grow up too!

Thursday, I had a BPTO meeting, C girl had gymnastics, and Tim had ball game duty in Springdale.

Friday, I got to go on C girl's field trip to the Rogers Historical Museum. 

The museum was built around the Hawkins House which is a permanent exhibit. 

The 1895 Hawkins House presents a glimpse of how a middle-class family lived in middle America at the turn of the 20th century.

My favorite part was touring the home.  

It gives you a deep appreciation of how much life has changed in the last 100 years.

My phone doesn't have the best camera and I so wish that I hadn't forgotten my camera!

This is a wreath made with human hair.  It's kinda pretty, but very, very odd.

Y'all.  I'm milking the big bows as long as humanly possible.  She has started balking a little and that makes me so sad!!!

I never thought I would be one of those moms who thought, "the bigger the bow, the better!" ha!

They also had a little presentation about Valentine's Day.  It was cool getting to learn the history behind it!  They got to set up an assembly line and make Valentine's cards!

Friday night, our church had a PNO so we got a date!!!  We finally tried out River Grille!  It was seriously one of the best meals of my life!

I mean, when your meal is described as- Two tenderloin medallions with jumbo lump crabmeat, asparagus and sauce bearnaise. Whoa! 

[And yet again, crappy phone camera :)]

and then you have a dessert called Sticky Toffee pudding?  oh my, what a meal!

Saturday brought my brother, Jessica and Parker!!!!  We were so glad to get to spend the weekend with them!!!  We spent the day visiting, had a yummy dinner, and then Jessica and I headed out for some friend time!  We shopped around Kohl's for a bit (love that store) and then went to see Catching Fire!

That movie stressed me out!!!  It was great, but very intense!

This girl got a loom for Christmas and has been obsessed.

A friend has taught her how to do it with her fingers!!!  She showed me tonight a "triple single" necklace that she made!

We had SUCH a great visit!

Tim made a wonderful breakfast this morning as always!!!

It gets better and better watching Parker and my kiddos together! 

It's just the best thing ever.

sweet cousins!

Jessica- I think the one on the left is the first one y'all ever took together!!!!  Isn't it crazy?!

Football has been on in our house all day. We made fish tacos.  C girl had her church activities tonight and I went to evening service.

It's time to get ready for the start of another week!