Thursday, May 8, 2014

A mother

Almost every day that I've been a mother, I've prayed that God would make me a better one.  
It's hard to believe that I've been entrusted with two precious souls to lead and guide and care for. I feel so inadequate. Being a mother is such an important job and I learn that more every year.

I didn't have a lot of life skills demonstrated for me as I was growing up. I'm the child of two parents with mental illness. I don't have a great relationship with my mother. I wasn't raised around extended family. I didn't have babies to dote on. Its a wonder I have done half as good a job as I have done!

I'm so glad that every morning I can wake up to start a new day, to work harder, to speak softer, and to love deeper. 
These two babies mean the world to me. I see so much of myself in both of them even though they have such different personalities.  Some of the things I see in them, I wish I didn't. I see things they learn from me. 
These are the things that I wake up every day and ask God to help me with.  I know that He keeps working on me, and I pray that He continually works in their hearts throughout their lives.  

I cannot think of a bigger blessing than the day that each of them will choose to follow Christ.  It's not my job to make that happen; it's my job to guide them and live in a way that they long to have what they see in me.  
That seems so daunting after I write those words.  I just feel so imperfect and I hope and pray that somehow, they will see Christ in me.  

These kids bring me more happiness than I ever dreamed.  When I see what they accomplish and how they are growing into their own persons, I am overwhelmed. 

There has been nothing else in my life that has changed me as much, been harder, or been more joyful than being a mother.  

1 comment:

  1. I love that you have so many pictures of you with your kids. I'm always the one taking the pictures around here and I'm not in enough of them. That needs to change.


I always love hearing from you!