Middle of the night ponderings

We had a tornado warning last night from about 2:30-3:30 am.  Everything ended up being fine, but when I laid back down in bed, my mind would not shut off.  

I started thinking about the Boston Marathon bombing and the fertilizer plant explosion in West, Texas that both happened this week.

As I was thinking about these awful things, I realized that we keep C Girl and B Boy in a bubble of protection from the world for the most part.  We rarely ever have the TV on, and we try not to talk about subjects like this in front of them if we can help it.

I know they are still pretty young, but I've been wondering- am I doing right by keeping them so sheltered? Are they going to see something awful as they get older and it completely traumatize them because they haven't been prepared?

I will work to teach them that awful things will happen and we just have to trust in Jesus.  However, we are all human and we worry.  I don't want them to be worried all the time that something bad may happen to them.

With all of the media in our faces about the awful things, we have to be extra diligent to show our children all of the good that is around us everyday.

I know a day is coming soon that I will not be able to shelter them.  

How do I prepare their sweet, innocent hearts for the reality of our world?

This world is not my home I'm just a passing through
My treasures are laid up somewhere beyond the blue
The angels beckon me from heaven's open door
And I can't feel at home in this world anymore
Oh Lord you know I have no friend like you
If heaven's not my home then Lord what will I do
The angels beckon me from heaven's open door
And I can't feel at home in this world anymore
- This World is Not My Home

Legacy

I am part of the visitation ministry through our women's ministry at church.

Another lady and I go and visit a wonderful 96 year old gentleman.

He still works at the business in town that he founded.

He still drives.

He still goes to breakfast with a group of men every morning.

He works with a son and at least 1 grandson.

 I see him in church every Sunday.

He has a very sharp mind and memory.

It has been so interesting hearing the stories that he tells.

You can see his faith in the way he lives and talks.

Yes, he has had sorrow.  He has lost his wife and a son.

But, today, while I was visiting him and we were talking, he said, "The Lord will take care of me, He always has."

Through 96 years of life, God has always taken care of him.

I want to be able to say that if I am so lucky to reach the age of 96.

I want to be able to leave a legacy of faith like he is leaving.

He has children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren that he is leaving this legacy to.

I wonder who I will be leaving my legacy to?

The legacy will be passed on to people I have not even met yet.

The way I am shaping my life and the way I am raising my children will influence generations to come.

I want to leave good.

I want to leave faith.

I want to tell them, "The Lord will take care of me, He always has."

Life is one big change and evolution

My days really seem to move at a faster pace than they used to. It feels like this past year has flown by. Inside these busy days, there have been SO many good things happening.

I do longingly remember the days of toddler hood. We had a nice, relaxing routine- get up, eat breakfast, play, possibly a morning nap, lunch, a little play, glorious afternoon nap and then playtime before daddy came home.

Sometimes, we also went to the library and occasionally the store, but that was it. Plus, being in a small town, there weren't many other options of things to do! But I reveled in the simplicity.
Of course now, we are in a more populated area and the kids are school-aged, and with school, activities and church, our busyness has sometimes felt never ending!
But things are starting to come to an end (for the summer anyway).

In a couple of weeks, I will officially be a mother of a kindergartner and a first grader (wha??)! 

I am so proud of everything the kids have learned and accomplished this year. 

I'm so proud of them sometimes that I could bust! 

It is so amazing to watch them grow and learn! They have both learned scripture verses, both are READING, C Girlie has been learning ballet and B Boy is learning to play baseball.
As happy as all of this makes me, I have to be honest and say that I am truly looking forward to a low key summer!
The kiddos will have swim lessons and VBS, but other than that, we are only doing fun summer things! I'm so excited to be volunteering to help with VBS this year. Our church has an amazing program. I took the kids to it last year, but we have met so many people in the church since then and I totally feel comfortable volunteering now. 

That is another thing that blows my mind- this time last year, we knew no one in our church. 

We started Sunday School last August and other activities at church and has made a world of difference. It has been so great meeting and getting to know so many wonderful people. 

I know this post is wordy, but it feels like a chapter is closing and a new one one is opening. 

Of COURSE, I must reflect on this, lol! 

I am beginning to feel that I am a part of my church, school, and community. 

This July, we will have lived here for two years. It does take time to find your place, at least it seems to for me. 

I feel like I have grown in my spirit so much.

 
Moving to a new community and losing my MIL and being away from my best friend almost broke me. 

I had a hard time for months, maybe longer.

I feel like I've overcome that. 

My heart has been healing. God has been healing it. 

My struggle now is watching my children become their own selves, big kids. But, I recognize my struggle and I try to give it to God. I'm sure there will always be a part of me that is sad to see them grow, but oh, how amazing it is as well. 

I feel like turning 30 was a major milestone for me. In a few days, I'm going to be a "thirty-something" from now on. And I'm good with that. 

Last year, I was sad to see my 20's gone. 

This year, I'm excited to see what the 30's have in store.

 

I never knew that I would change so much as an adult. 

I hope to pass that on to my kids, that life is one big change and evolution. We are continuing to grow everyday. Maybe only in our spirit, but some form of change will constantly be taking place.

Kindergarten Mother's Day program 2012

Pictured (left to right): Soon-to-be 1st grader, Soon-to-be 31 year old, Soon-to-be Kindergartner

Good Friday

Today, we remember Christ's death on the cross. What a sacrifice He made for each and every one of our sins.

Above all powers, above all kings
Above all nature and all created things
Above all wisdom and all the ways of man
You were here before the world began

Above all kingdoms, above all thrones
Above all wonders the world has ever known
Above all wealth and treasures of the earth
There's no way to measure what you're worth

Crucified
Laid behind a stone
You lived to die
Rejected and alone
Like a rose
Trampled on the ground
You took the fall
And thought of me
Above all

I'm so thankful that 3 days later, He rose again!