I came across this recently and got a laugh out of it! Happy Mother's Day to all you Moms out there! <3
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE--
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION--
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL--
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC--
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC--
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT--
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY--
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS--
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM--
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10 My mother taught me about STAMINA--
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER--
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY--
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE--
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION--
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY--
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION--
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING--
"You are going to get it when your father gets home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE--
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP--
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR--
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT--
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS--
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS--
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM--
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE--
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you !"
I really enjoyed this!!
ReplyDeleteMan, I have heard a lot of those. Thanks for the laugh.
ReplyDeleteThanks! I thought they were pretty funny!
ReplyDelete