Words

Words.  They are something I have always struggled with in my life. I heard this song today and it just convicted me so much.  I have been on the receiving end of words that put my fire out, but I know that I've also been one to give words that hurt others.

I want to be more intentional with what I say.  I want to edify with everything that I say and do.  

Let my words be life
Let my words be truth
Let the words I say be the sound of Your grace.

How often are the words we speak to others filled with life, truth and God's grace?

That is the cry of my heart today.

Will you pray for a big unspoken request of mine?  It's a relationship in my life that only God can mend.  

Psalm 147:3
He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds. (KJV)

Prayer requests

Tonight I am burdened for families in my Sunday school class.  Right now, there are very urgent needs for 4 families.  

• One has a 2 year old daughter who had a fever this morning and as they were waiting at the clinic, she had a seizure.  She was airlifted to Children's hospital and they are awaiting results of tests.  
• One has a daughter at the ER with possible appendicitis.  
• One has a one year old boy who has struggled with not gaining weight and not eating.  They have been to hospitals and had so many tests and still do not have any answers.  God has answered prayer today and he has actually eaten more than he has been, but he still is not eating the amount that he needs.
• One family has a 7 month old daughter with early onset scoliosis.  They are flying to an out of state hospital this week to seek answers.

I was planning on posting something totally different tonight, but these needs are so heavy on my heart.  Tomorrow I will post what I was going to post tonight and it explains what these friends and this Sunday school class mean to me.  

If you don't mind, will you join me in prayer tonight for my friends?

This and That

We celebrated my nephew's 11th birthday last Friday night.  I can't believe he is already 11!  We ate at a yummy Mexican restaurant and then went back to my brother's house to visit and have cupcakes.  It was a really nice family time.

 My brother with all the cousins

Saturday morning we headed to Fayetteville for the Razorback game.

We beat Tulsa, hallelujah!

On Sunday, we went to church and then I drove down to spend the afternoon with my SIL Jessica!  We had such a fun time shopping!

of course, we were up to our normal shenanigans!

That brings us to this week.  Of course, we all know that Tuesday was Election Day.  I voted and I stayed up waay to late Tuesday night to watch the winner and the speeches.  
I also had a PTO meeting Tuesday night.  I had started having sinus drainage and today, I can't even talk!  Good thing I have my first ever physical tomorrow.  

We are rejoicing today because we got good news about the health of one of SIL's.  A doctor had told her that a disease had returned to her body, but when she went for her appointment yesterday, there was no disease!  PTL!

Please, please be in prayer for the Northeast.  They were devastated by Hurricane Sandy and now they are being battered by a huge nor'easter.  Our church has efforts being taken up east and I'm so thankful for that.  If you have the opportunity to give or help, please do!

My Faith and My Struggles {I am a Work in Progress}

Right now, I'm going through a period of growth and learning in my faith. Every week, I have lessons from Sunday school, church and Bible study rolling around in my mind. I want to discuss all of them and naturally, they are not all about the same thing.

In Sunday school, we have just began a study on Hebrews.  It's been really great so far.  And I'm actually learning a lot.  It is a book that also has references to the book of Leviticus.  Leviticus is a book that I have read in the past, but really know little about.  It has piqued my interest to learn more about Moses and the laws in the book of Leviticus.  I've also had wow moments learning about how things in the Bible really are real and they really happened.  As well as realizing that not many things in our world have persevered through the ages and times.  Empires, governments, and countries have all fallen, but Israel was created on Mt. Sinai by Moses and still continues on in this present day.

In worship service, our pastor has been doing a series on heaven.  Well, obviously, that has created a lot of thought for me.  Of course, I wonder about death and what will happen after I die, but he has also challenged us with what we are doing for God while we are alive.  Yesterday, they showed a memorial video of Whitney Houston.  He used the video to illustrate the point that our life will have a beginning and an end.  It's the moments in between those two points that people will remember us by.  How will people remember my life? Your life?

In Bible study we are discussing The Resolution by Priscilla Shirer.  It has been such a good book for me in this time of my life.  I want to write more about it in depth.  The chapter we read for this week is called Loving my Children.  
She writes, "when our primary goal as mothers is teaching our children God's truth, the whole focus of our parenting changes."
   The resolution for this section is, I will demonstrate to my children how to love God with all their hearts, minds, and strength, and will train them to respect authority and live responsibly.  
What a challenge.  And it puts great responsibility on me as a mother.  I have such an important task for shaping my children.  This is something I have been in prayer about, because I definitely do not always feel adequate for the job.  I just do not want to fail my two precious children.  

Something I struggle with on a regular basis is my health.  I don't discuss it much because I don't like to complain and it is a chronic issue that will go on and on.  
Sometimes, I will have a new issue thrown into the mix and I will start to Google things.  Have you ever done that?  I always end up convincing myself that I have cancer of some sort!  I've been trying so hard to just let it go and have faith that my health will continue the way it is or maybe even get better!

Another struggle I have been experiencing is being a "distracted mom" at times.  I have been a little too, shall we even say, "addicted" to social media at times.  I'm working on not allowing myself to check things at certain times of the day.  I'm working on becoming more focused on taking care of my home, exercising, praying, and spending time with my husband and kiddos.  It's not that I wasn't already doing these things, it's that I was sort of distracted at times while doing them.  I don't want to be distracted, I want to be present.

I've been....

.....taking apart my vacuum and fixing it, ironing patches on vests, making homemade oatmeal for breakfast, making lunches, researching thermoses, tweeting, sweeping, making pecan pies, eating pecan pies, dropping off kids, picking kids up, talking to friends about how much our kiddos are growing and growing out of clothes(!), signing up for school Christmas parties, wrapping gifts, getting groceries, volunteering at church, brushing hair and trying new hairstyles for C-girl, folding laundry, making lists, making dinner, making a menu, listening to Christmas music, taking photos, breaking up fights and being in awe of the preciousness of my kids, starting a fire in the fireplace, playing Rummy with my husband, coloring with my son, talking about school with my daughter, drinking hot chocolate with candy canes in it, and drinking coffee with nutmeg sprinkled in it.

That's what I've been doing.
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I have some prayer requests that I would love for you to help me pray for.

• A friend whose husband just lost his job.
• A friend whose mother needs to find a job immediately.
• The brother of a friend and his children who have went through a divorce and are struggling with many issues.
• A coach that my husband used to coach with, his house and SUV caught fire today.  What makes this a little more awful is that he is also coaching his team in a state championship game tonight.
• A friend who is sick, but also needs prayers of encouragement.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."  Philippians 4:6

The pain of being a parent

Our morning started very early today.  Our poor girl came into our bedroom crying and holding her stomach at 4 am.  Her pain was so bad that she wasn't able to go back to sleep.  She is a tough girl and never complains, so this was very hard to see her going through.  We finally could not take seeing her in pain any longer, so we took her to the ER.  

The first doctor was fairly sure that her pain was pointing to appendicitis.  They did blood-work  urinalysis, and a strep test and all came back negative.  The only thing not normal was her white blood count. It was twice the normal level.  They ordered a CT scan to see what could be causing this pain and possible infection.  The CT came back normal.  In one way, we were happy, because this meant no surgery for our little one.  On the other hand, it is very hard knowing your child is sick and not knowing why.

  

To me, that has been so hard.  We have been blessed with very healthy kids, and to see her in pain this morning was so hard.  I feel so much for parents who must see their children in pain on a regular basis.  As a parent, you want to do anything you can for the pain just to stop, for your baby to start feeling better.

At this point, we still don't know what is causing the infection.  All the tests came back normal.  They have put her on antibiotics and Tylenol/Ibuprofen for fever.  We are just going to watch her and hopefully it's just some weird infection that goes away quickly on its own.

Do any of you have stories of your child being sick and not being able to find out why? Please feel free to share them with me in the comments.

Thank you to all our family and friends who prayed for C Girlie and checked up on us through phone calls and Facebook.  We love each and every one of you and we so appreciate you thinking of us and praying for us.

Finding time for prayer

The past year or so, I have struggled with my relationship with God.  I know part of it stemmed from the death of my mother in law.  The other part has been my neglect of prayer. Prayer is what keeps the relationship going and I have been giving God the cold shoulder for quite some time.

I'm almost ashamed to admit that. I am admitting it though.  Confessing it.  I need to.  I am beginning to pray again.   I often wonder why the past year has been so hard in my spirit.  Was God trying to test me or was it I rebelling from Him?

I honestly don't have any answers right now.  All I know, is that I have had every excuse in the world about why I don't pray and read the Bible.  I'm too busy, I'm too tired, and I have so many other things to do and read.  I have been completely selfish.  I will never hear God or know His plan for me if I don't listen.

I want to listen.  I want to know His plan.  I want to be an example for my kids.  I want to strengthen our relationship.  I know that it is always a quest to be closer.  It always will be.  I have to do my part though.  Sometimes it is a struggle, but I am trying.

EDIT--Then on the drive to VBS, I hear this song.......

How I'm feeling about bin Laden's death

I want to write how I feel about the news we received last night that Osama bin Laden has been killed.  As my husband and I sat on the couch watching the President give his address, I started wondering why I didn't feel much.  I mean, I remember how I felt when 9/11 happened.  I remember how I felt each time one of my brothers were deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan.  I remember the worry I would feel each time for the duration of their deployment.  I feel worry now as I type this because one of my brothers is scheduled to go to Afghanistan next year. 

I sat looking at the tv last night and as they showed old footage of bin Laden, I saw a man.  A man like any other man.  I thought of what his life was like.  What he thought, what he believed.  I thought about how he has sinned just as we all have sinned.  Was his sin worse than my sin?  Who am I to judge another human?  What right do we have to take others lives.  What was the right thing to do in this situation?  Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that he should have been left alone.  Justice needed to be done, but I don't feel like celebrating.  I just feel empty.  So many people are still dead.  Al Queada is not stopping just because of this.  My brother will still go to Afghanistan. 

I watched as people gathered in front of the White House and cheered.  I did not feel like cheering in any way.  I am always so proud of our military and everything they do.  They did a remarkable job with this, but still.  I don't feel like cheering.  On Facebook, everyone was celebratory. 

I just think about how much our world and country has changed since 9/11.  Those are things that can't be undone.  One man's death will never change that.  I'm so proud of our military, but yet I'm so grieved for the loss of life our country has endured during these past 10 years.  I'm sad that I have missed time with my brothers because they have been overseas.  I'm sad that our people hate so many people in the Middle East.  The radicals are crazy, but there are people over there like you and me.  Families who are raising their children.  Yes, they believe differently than us. But they are people just the same.  Maybe that's what saddens me the most.  The feeling of hate that I see.  Not only to other peoples, but people in our own country.  Try putting a Democrat and Republican in the same room these days discussing politics and see what happens.  I see it on Facebook all the time.  One side always thinks they are right and smarter.  No one will be swayed.  It's "my way or the highway." 

It angers me so much.  I don't claim to be either.  I just want what's best for our country and people.  I wish more people could be like that.  I feel like we would get so much more accomplished. 

 Right now, I just feel the need to pray.  For what?  I'm not sure, but I sure don't feel like celebrating.

You are not forgotten

It seems over the course of this year that I have seen so many families in need of prayer requests.  Most of this comes from facebook.  It is so easy now to know what everyone is going through.  I have prayed many prayers for these families and I know that we have had many prayers for our family during our difficult times.

What has been grieving me lately is how quickly we forget about these families that we prayed for right at their time of need.  I'm not in any way talking about anyone not thinking about my family.  I'm specifically saying in general that most folks do not continue to think of or pray for these families once the immediate time of crisis has passed.  But these families are still struggling and hurting.  Pain has not gone away.  Their bodies are still healing and their hearts are not even close to healing. 

I have had strong burdens on my heart to not forget people after the immediate crisis.  I have not forgotten you.  I am still praying for you.  The families who cancer has ripped it's way through, you are still in my thoughts and prayers.  The people who have experienced other sickenesses and wrecks, you are still in my thoughts and prayers.  Those who have went through divorce or had family trouble, you are still in my thoughts and prayers.

My family is still grieving.  We have lost two great women in our family.  We are grieving but we will get through this.  We will stay close.  I pray for my family everyday.  If you feel a burden to pray for us, then I thank you.  Prayers lift people up and God hears our prayers. 

I pray for everyone to have a blessed holiday season.  I know for some it will be difficult and down right impossible.  I pray that next year will be better.  I remember last Christmas how down I was.  I had 3 surgeries from October to Christmas Eve.  I could barely function at my family's Christmas get togethers last year.  I just wanted a new year to start and my body to be healthy.  So far this year, I've just had some aches and pains.  In that, I have been blessed.  Now I have a hurting heart to contend with.  I know as 2011 dawns with fresh promise, I will begin to heal.    So, I pray for needs and pray that I won't forget.