The past year or so, I have struggled with my relationship with God. I know part of it stemmed from the death of my mother in law. The other part has been my neglect of prayer. Prayer is what keeps the relationship going and I have been giving God the cold shoulder for quite some time.
I'm almost ashamed to admit that. I am admitting it though. Confessing it. I need to. I am beginning to pray again. I often wonder why the past year has been so hard in my spirit. Was God trying to test me or was it I rebelling from Him?
I honestly don't have any answers right now. All I know, is that I have had every excuse in the world about why I don't pray and read the Bible. I'm too busy, I'm too tired, and I have so many other things to do and read. I have been completely selfish. I will never hear God or know His plan for me if I don't listen.
I want to listen. I want to know His plan. I want to be an example for my kids. I want to strengthen our relationship. I know that it is always a quest to be closer. It always will be. I have to do my part though. Sometimes it is a struggle, but I am trying.
EDIT--Then on the drive to VBS, I hear this song.......
Love that song. I so miss my Christian radio station from missouri... The ones here aren't the same. I can fully identify with this post. I am in the same place right now, and am so desperate to change. Life is so tricky, and we are so flawed. It is always, always easier when God is at the center, though. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading! It is so hard sometimes to say things like this out loud. I'll be praying for you as well during my prayer time. I know God will bring us both to where we need to be!
ReplyDeleteIt can be a huge struggle sometimes between knowing that God has a plan, making time, and truly understanding the things around you. I think we all go through times like these. Prayer can be as simple as a thank you or plea for help at the stop light. It's all just openings your heart and mind. When you're ready, the rest will come.
ReplyDeleteAwwww, thanks for the sweet comment Jess!
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