managing the holidays & thoughts on the new year

Do you struggle with stressing about the holidays or finding time to get everything accomplished?
I used to struggle with this a lot. It took me years to get a good grip on time management and knowing what I can accomplish without stressing completely out.

I think years of experience has helped me to better manage holidays. 

I also think lowering expectations has helped as well. 
I've also learned that just because we have traditions, doesn't mean that we have to do the exact things every year. 
Skipping a tradition here and there is perfectly fine.
I used to get worked up about everything, but it really doesn't help anything to be that way.

Just like on the Grinch who stole Christmas, Christmas will come either way.

He hadn't stopped Christmas from coming, it *came*! Somehow or other... it came just the same. How could it be so? It came without ribbons!... it came without tags!... it came without packages, boxes, or bags!

The last 2 weeks of December were the slowest of the year for me. I know that sounds crazy! The calendar had so very little on it!
It was a very stress free holiday this year.

I have created a gift spreadsheet for the past few years and that really helps keep me on track.

The first full week of January is going to be the exact opposite.
A lot of appointments and events just all happened to be scheduled during January 4-9.
At least we will get it all out of the way at once!

I haven't had a lot of deep thoughts about the end of the year/beginning of the new one.

2014 was a really good year. It did have some down points- Koonta passing away, being diagnosed with Crohn's... but the good FAR outweighed the bad.

I don't make resolutions or have a "word for the year."
I'm not great about doing something that has to be kept up with over a long period of time. Especially if it is a daily thing.

I really just want to feel better in 2015. 
I want to feel better so that I can be a better me.

In a way, I'm kind of struggling with this diagnosis. On the other hand, I'm hopeful about treatment. It's just so strange to know after not knowing for 7 years.

I want to keep trying to have time to let my mind wander and to keep it more free from clutter. It's so easy to get sucked into social media, but my mind always feels so full afterwards. I want more time to think and create.

I also want to do more things outside this spring- more hikes/walks!

It's so strange not having lots of plans for the year. We haven't even planned any vacations yet. 
The year seems open to such possibility!

Do you have thoughts on the new year?
Here's to 2015 - may it be happy and blessed!

Scripture that I want to live by this year:

Romans 12(NKJV)

Living Sacrifices to God

12 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. 2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

Serve God with Spiritual Gifts

3 For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith. 4 For as we have many members in one body, but all the members do not have the same function, 5 so we, being many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another.6 Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, let us prophesy in proportion to our faith; 7 or ministry,let us use it in our ministering; he who teaches, in teaching; 8 he who exhorts, in exhortation; he who gives, with liberality; he who leads, with diligence; he who shows mercy, with cheerfulness.

Behave Like a Christian

9 Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. 10 Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; 11 not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; 12 rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer; 13 distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality.

14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. 16 Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion.

17 Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. 18 If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. 19 Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 Therefore

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
If he is thirsty, give him a drink;
For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.”

21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Let it be Jesus

I went to a local women's conference tonight and Lysa Terkeurst was the speaker. It was so great and she is an amazing speaker- so full of humor and God's wisdom. I have more to say about it, but that will be for another time.

Right now, let me back up. 

God has been stirring in me for the past several years. The only problem is that I haven't exactly done what I know I'm supposed to. It's pretty hard laying that out here. 

I can't give any one reason for the disobedience. I feel the same call over and over and over. I always feel like I'm going to comply, but then I never do. 

Now, I'm not talking some big life change. I'm talking about the nitty gritty of my relationship with God. 

You see, I love God and I know I'm saved but I don't spend time with Him like I should. And the ways that I spend my time instead are not ways I should be spending my time. 

Maybe from reading here it looks like things are good and I have everything in order. 

By all accounts, life is not bad for me, it's actually really good, but I need to admit that I'm a mess a lot of times. 

Part of that mess is due to health issues, but I'm so impatient and I'm irritable a lot. I don't show that in public but if you were at my house a couple of days, you would have no doubt. 

I feel like I have such selfish tendencies. 

The reason I'm saying all of this is because I feel like it is something I'm supposed to do. I feel with every fiber of my being that I have to get my self in a state of obedience. 

You see, I went to that conference tonight to hear Lysa speak, but God spoke to me during the worship before she even began. The worship team sang this song: 

Let it be Jesus
The first name that I call
Let it be Jesus
My song inside the storm
I'll never need another
For me, to live is Christ
For me, to live is Christ
God I breathe Your name above everything
Let it be, Let it be Jesus
Let it be Jesus
From the rising of the sun
Let it be Jesus
When all is said and done
I'll never need another, Jesus there's no other
For me, to live is Christ
For me, to live is Christ
God I breathe Your name above everything
Let it be, Let it be Jesus
Should I ever be abandoned
Should I ever be acclaimed
Should I ever be surrounded by the fire and the flame There's a name I will remember
There's a name I will proclaim

Let it be, Let it be Jesus

"God I breathe Your name above everything"
That one part was all I needed to hear. I know my call right now and I feel such a command to obedient. That just came to me. It's been a call, but now it feels like a command. Is that what happens before you chastised? I don't know. All I know was that it was strong. Whatever God has for me, right now I know that I need to be with Him, seek Him, become immersed in Him. I know that should sound so simple, but it's such a struggle for such a selfish person. I have a very big struggle with how I spend my time and it has to be broken. Will you pray for me if you think about it?

Privacy

So, if you are reading this, you are aware that I made my blog private yesterday. 
I have had this issue on my mind for quite some time now. My reasons for considering more privacy have been that Tim's job is a very public job and I've been worried about what I share, the kids are getting older (I'm not really sure why I feel that the age matters) and I worry about their privacy, and I have had quite the spike in people who view my blog in the past year.

A couple of days ago, I received a couple of ugly comments on here. That is the first time it has ever happened. It really hurt, mostly because it was an attack of my character. I'm so thankful for the many friends who gave me support and encouragement. It truly made me realize how blessed I am and that I know me and the people around me, know me. Isn't that all that matters?

I started this blog in January of 2009 after a friend of mine had started a blog. I had exactly no idea what I was doing or what I should even blog about. Eventually, I started to get the hang of it. I think, like everyone during that time, there was a pressure to have a "brand." I always felt like that was just not me or what I wanted to do with my blog. My whole reason for posting was to record memories of our family journey. 
When I started using Twitter in the fall of 2010, that pressure was everywhere. Everyone was trying to get more people to visit their blogs. I "sort of" jumped on that bandwagon. I joined blog hops and blog groups and used Twitter to try and gain exposure. I even started a couple of other blogs with different purposes. But, all of that felt so hollow. All I longed to do was share about our family.

Lately, I just have not cared who reads this blog except the people that I know and love. I still read blogs and even blogs of people who I do not know in real life, but I have drastically cut out anything that doesn't really, really interest me. I've unfollowed numerous people of Twitter. I have unfollowed people on Facebook that I don't want to unfriend, but have a hard time seeing their negativity. I have made Twitter and Instagram private. I just do not feel the need to invite strangers in anymore.

Maybe it is age? Maybe it is the fact that the new has worn off? Maybe it is the fact that I was tragically and totally addicted to social media and constantly staring at my phone and iPad? Maybe it is the fact that I get so much more accomplished with fewer distractions? Or maybe it is all of that together.

Whatever it is, the rude comments sent me over the edge. I don't have to put up with that kind of thing. I don't have thick skin and they hurt deeply. It caused me to wonder if there was truth in them. I know there isn't, but that is what the enemy will do to you. I know that all of these platforms have been used against me by the enemy. I have two relationships that were nearly destroyed by the use of social media. Thank you Jesus that I wised up and got all of that straight!

Soooo, long story short- I'm so glad that I get to share my life with you. I love blogging and Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. I will still use all of it, but only with the people I feel are worth it! I love y'all and thank you so much for supporting and encouraging me!

/ / thirty three / /

I turned thirty three on Monday. I wish that I had time to think and write profound words and thoughts. I feel like my brain is ADD most of the time. I'm usually running from one task to another, with stops by my "list" to write something down so that I don't forget. I email myself multiple times a day with reminders.

I was really overwhelmed by all of the texts, calls, and Facebook posts from everyone wishing me a happy birthday. It really, really made my day.

I had lunch with my very good friend, April at Chuy's. I got my favorite- Baja shrimp tacos!!!

I went shopping for a little while in the afternoon.

 We went out to eat Mexican for my birthday dinner.

I finally found a white shirt that was what I had been wanting for years- dressy, comfy, and not plain!

It was a really wonderful day and I'm just so thankful for good times and good memories.

on death and life

I started the post below a little over a month ago.  It's hard for me to share inner feelings like this. I wonder what people will think and will they truly get what I'm trying to say?  

Today, my heart is heavy for family members. One of the closest people in my life lost someone, but it is a very difficult situation and it is breaking her heart. This morning, I learned of other close family members who lost someone dear to them.

Death is real and as humans, it is full of sadness.  We don't always have peace or understanding.

I'm not sure how else to get through times like that without leaning on God. 

"The Lord is near to those who are broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have so many thoughts swirling in my head lately. Some of them come into extreme focus when I read blog posts from others who seem to experience similar feelings that I do.

These thoughts include: death, funerals, anxiety, how I spend my time, and am I being a good enough mother.

I've talked here before about how my MIL's passing really changed how I viewed life. My anxiety about death became full blown from then on. I have taken steps to address the problem and I am in a good place right now. I still have thoughts, but it isn't panic attack level.

One thought that crosses my mind a lot lately is how life will be as I continue to age. How will I react to more and more people I know passing away?

A co-worker of Tim's passed away recently. As we discussed her funeral, I began to ponder on how I would like mine to be. A thought like that a year ago would have sent me over the edge. 
I want my funeral to be a celebration of life and I don't want it to be dry and boring. I know there will be sadness, but I also want people to leave with hope and happiness because I will be in heaven.

These type of thoughts lead to how I am spending my time. 
I become more and more aware that how I live my life and what I spend my time on will be the things that people remember about me.
I don't want to be remembered as too busy, but rather- how I loved people and life.

And that leads straight back to the death fear. 
I guess I dread it so much because I am happy and do love life. If I could stay at this stage of life, I believe I would. I don't mean that I'm not looking forward to heaven. 
That is another conundrum of mine. 
How can I long for heaven so much, but also long to be living in this stage of life?

Ultimately, my love of life and my family and friends is no comparison to how much God loves me and what He has in store for me after death. However, it certainly is hard to yearn for what we cannot see. 

It is hard to understand why I have the blessed life that I have, while so many millions of people on this earth suffer every day. I'm sure their yearning is more than I could ever imagine. 
It's like I know God's grace, but they really know God's grace. 

I guess I just wonder if everyone else thinks about death as much as I do?

Some things you may not know about me...

My sweet friend Laurie invited the ladies from our Sunday school class over to her house for dinner and visiting last night.  It was SO nice to get to hang out and talk with everyone!  I even was able to meet a few ladies that are new to our class!  

Laurie always asks questions and we go around the room and answer.  Last night, the question was, "what food would you absolutely not eat if someone put it in front of you?" (My answer is chocolate.  I also hate cantaloupe.)  She has asked this question before and it's always fun to hear everyone's answers.

This all made me start thinking about random things people probably don't know about me:

• If I eat a banana, it has to be cold.
• I associate people with their vehicles.
• I love exclamation points, but I have to use 1 or 3. Two just looks wrong.
• I don't eat for chocolate. I used to love it and now it is pretty much disgusting to me.
• I sniffle a lot.
• I have to sleep with a pillow covering my ear(s).
• I'm a cat person. As far back into childhood as I can remember, we've always had a cat.
• My hands are not the same. One is noticeably bigger and has crooked fingers! It's like I have a lady hand and a man hand!
• I can pop almost every joint in my body.
• I can't stand for water from any sink to be on the counter or floor. That's what the sink is for!
• I love bird watching.
• I drive like a granny most of the time (I'm terrified of other drivers on the interstate.)
• I hate folding laundry worse than almost any house chore.
• My favorite hobbies are reading, photography, traveling, and cooking/baking.
• I have loved photography since I was a child. My high school friends always kind of made fun of me for "always" having my camera.
• Tim and I only dated for 6 months before we got married. We were married in St. Lucia.
• I did not fly in an airplane until I was in college.
• I gave birth both times minus epidurals. (I wanted one with C Girl, but I was too advanced by the time they finally got to my room :-/. With B, they were trying to keep me from having him[he was 6 weeks early] and when they realized that I was ready to push, it was too late.)
• I'm very weird about everything having it's "place" in my house. I've relaxed a lot about the kids' rooms, but the rest of the house is very organized. I don't like things to not be where I like them! 
• My favorite desserts are pecan pie, rice krispy treats, and homemade sugar cookies.
• I don't know how to swim very well.
• I had braces for 4.5 years. As an adult.
• I had a horse for a while when I was a kid.
• I will not watch scary movies any more.
• For someone who is terrified of public speaking, I've been an officer in lots of clubs/organizations- even president a few times.
• I worked in a flower shop in high school.  And a I worked at a restaurant.
• In college I worked at a grocery store, a few restaurants, a book/video store, and the athletic department at my college. 
• I've rode exactly one roller coaster in my life and have no plans to ever ride another one.
• I love staying up after everyone has went to sleep and I love watching my kiddos sleep.

Goals for 2014

I've never made new year resolutions and I probably never will. 

However, this year, I do have some goals.

I've had a lot of realizations in the past year. 
I've always been a person who has wondered- what is God's purpose/plan for me? I assumed that there would be some "ah ha" moment.

God has spoken to me a lot in the last year, and I realized that there may never be a moment like that. 
I am not called to be a missionary, to be in charge of a program/ministry at church, or to be a teacher. 
I believe He wants me to be me and to be a friend and share His love however I can. He wants me to be a mother and a wife in the best way I can be through Him. 
Truly, these things are the desires of my heart. Family and friends mean the world to me.

A hard realization for me in the last year or so has been my words. 
I've always been one to have a short temper and a quick tongue. 
Let me tell you, those two things have never once benefited me or others.

Also? Can we also talk about how I spend my time? This one is hard to admit, but I'm a slave to social media.

So what are these goals for 2014 and beyond?  Most of this I have already began working on, so this is really a continuation of goals.

Re-structure how I spend my time.
-----spending more time praying and reading the Bible
-----keeping my home clean and in order

Invite friends into our home.
-----i want our friends to feel welcome here
-----I want my home filled with joy and laughter

Continue to keep myself organized.
----I work better when things are planned out

Schedule one-on-one time with Tim and the kids.

Get active and drink more water.

Find ways that I can help others.

Speak kinder at home and no yelling.

Finish organizing our recipes and photos.

Health

I go back and forth wondering if I should share about my health.  I always have, but I start to think that people may think I'm whining or trying to garner attention.  Or that my issues aren't as serious as other people's, so why do I talk about it?

I don't talk about it for any of those reasons.  I just share my life, and right now, that's a major part of it.

I basically felt pretty good for a week after the hospital stay and then, the last 2 weeks, especially, have been filled with pain.  

I did go to the doctor today(saw a new lady doctor today and really, really liked her!)  I had an X-ray and there were no signs of an obstruction!  Very good news.  I'll let you guess what is going on though.  Let's just say, Metamucil is involved. 

But, still, it doesn't really explain all of the pain.  I'm just praying and trying to do everything that the doctor suggested.

I'm sad, because we had a church GNO at the home of a wonderful lady in our church and I could not go tonight.  The pain this evening was awful.  Bless my kiddos' hearts, they had to entertain themselves until Tim got home from football duty.

There are so many things about pain and sickness that make me mad.  1. Not being able to be as present with the kids or play or anything. 2. Missing out on things. 3. Feeling like a disappointment to my family because I can't keep up with things in the house. 4. Not feeling like eating. I love to eat, so that has been super annoying. 

I just feel like it is one thing after another with me.  I go months feeling well and then, bam- some random health issue happens to me.  This summer was the best I had felt in a very long time. 

I guess that is why it is even more disappointing to be feeling like this now. Feeling bad every once in a while is one thing, but feeling bad everyday for a while is so much more difficult. 
I certainly never take good health for granted.

Oh, how a day can change

****warning**** this is a post about my health.  If you don't like reading things like that, just skip on by today.

Usually, I would have already written a post re-capping my weekend by now.  

And in fact, my weekend was a really good one - went to First Friday, helped at our church's clothing giveaway, finished putting together the kids' birthday present, shopped for birthday supplies, went to church, and cooked food for the coming week.

Sunday evening after dinner, I started having abdominal pain.  Now, I'm no stranger to abdominal pain.  I've had my appendix removed, I'm lactose intolerant, and I have IBS. I just assumed it was related to stress or IBS.  

But, it just kept getting worse.  I could not sleep AT ALL.  Around 2 am, I vomited.  And then every 20 minutes after that I vomited. All.night.long.  By the time morning came, I thought I had cancer and was dying.

I waited until Tim took the kids to school and then he took me to the ER.  It took over an hour and a half, but we finally got to a room to check me out.  Based on my symptoms and abdominal tenderness, they ordered a CT scan. 

The best moment was when they finally gave me morphine and Zofran.  Oh sweet relief from the pain and nausea.

The dr came in after the CT to let us know what they had found - a partial small intestine obstruction 0_0

That was certainly not on my radar of what could have been wrong with me, and truthfully, it really freaked me out.

THEN, the nurses come in to inform me that it will be treated with a NG tube and had I ever had one before?

Oh yes, I remember the dreaded NG tube.  I had one after my appendectomy and I still hate the memories of it.

Soooo, I was not very excited about this news. And just like I remembered, it was still as unpleasant.
I was not allowed food or drink and the purpose of the tube was to keep everything out of my intestines so that they could work the obstruction out.

I was miserable.  (good grief, why am I posting this picture?!)

Tim brought the kids by after school and they were terrified to see me, especially C Girlie.  She always worries about things hurting and she was worried about me hurting.

Yesterday morning, they did an xray and it showed that the obstruction had gotten smaller.  They began to introduce liquids back to my diet. Hallelujah! 

After I kept that down, they let me eat regular food.  It is extremely difficult to eat real food with a tube going down your throat. But, I kept it down!

They decided that I could go home last night since I was keeping food down. I don't feel like I'm 100% better, but I do feel a lot better.

The kids' birthday party is on Saturday.  A couple of family members asked if I was still having the party. Well, of course!  I had surgery in 2009 two days before Christmas and we still made that work.  I can do this....maybe with a little help!  B Boy was only concerned if he was still going to get cake! HA!

I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who texted, emailed, called, came by, sent flowers, etc.  Your prayers and offers to help our family have meant so much to me.  I truly felt loved by everyone.  I pray that I learn to be a better friend by the examples I was shown this week. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

A stirring

I wrote this last night after a hard day and wasn't sure if I would post it or not-

Today did not rank as one of my best days. 
There were physical/hormonal issues that contributed to my state of being today. 
I was grumpy, impatient, and irritated at most things. 
I wish I were better at being a person who does not wear their emotions on their sleeve. 
I wish I had more patience. I wish I didn't snap or yell. 
I just read news of someone who passed away and was really pretty young-51. 
It snapped me back to reality. 
I just see how quick life passes, and how quick things can change. 
I pray for God to help me LIVE and be His servant and not someone focused on me or my own shortcomings. 
I pray for God to help me to LOVE and to give GRACE and MERCY to others. 
I know I need grace and mercy everyday, so I need to be doling it out too. 
I want to be a blessing and not a burden.

This morning I read this post of Kelly's.

After that, I saw this post from Jenn.

And then I saw this post from Ann Voskamp.

I've also read posts by two other bloggers in the past 2 weeks, one of which had a recent huge transformation by God, and the other is just so honest and real about who she is as a  person and as a Christian.

I've felt a stir in my soul for several years.  I know that things are supernaturally happening. What they are, I have no idea.  God is preparing people for whatever it may be though.  I feel that certainty in my bones.

I want to be prepared.  I always question whether I am prepared and what am I doing that is God's will.  

I need to stop questioning so much and just seek Him.  

I think we try to figure things out too much.  I just don't think most of it is ours to figure out.  Am I on my own with thinking that?

I also think that we get bogged down thinking about so many bad things happening and we don't always focus on the good and what God is doing.

Will this be a revival of Christianity, true Christianity?  Not the Christianity that the world sees or  how they view Christianity, but the real thing.

Don't you wish everyone could experience the true-ness of it and not what they see displayed in media?
"But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect," 
1 Peter 3:15

I feel like I am rambling, but I felt like I needed to share all of this.  

Let's pray together and for each other.  

I feel like something we need to be prepared and to support each other, especially as women.  

We are the ones raising this next generation and I think they will be doing great, big things.

Real life confessions

Do you know what makes me mad?

• Dishonest people.

• People who talk about others behind their backs.

• People who want everyone to think they are so great.  We are all great, but why say things all the time?

• And a big one.... People who judge/condemn you for something and then turn around and do the exact thing that they were on your case about.

I've got plenty of forgiveness in my heart, but let's be real, sometimes things just make you mad!

Getting my attention

Probably a year ago, God put something on my heart for me to do.  In honesty, I think I've had a nudge towards this for longer than that, but last year the feeling was much stronger.

This thing is not easy for me to do, and it takes time and thought.  And, well, it just hasn't been done.

I don't know about you, but when I disobey what He wants - He has a way of getting my attention.

It started with one small thing.  It was just a conversation where someone brought up the very thing I was trying to avoid.

And after that?  

Well, it has shown up everywhere.  A song, a Bible verse, words in a book, another person talking about it, a blog post, etc.  The list goes on.

I mean, how much more obvious can it be?

Maybe you don't believe in things like that. 

I do. 

God knows that tangible reminders really get my attention.

So, I'm putting this out here because I want to be accountable and obey.  It's going to take some time to finish this project, but this time?

I'm finally starting it.

Shifting Focus

I've been faced with a tough decision lately. It is one of those decisions that is extremely hard to make because it involves relationships. 

This past year has been VERY hard on our family (our nuclear family).  Not hard in the ways that life can sometimes be hard, but hard nonetheless.

Tim has a lot of responsibility and stress at work and often he has duties on weeknights. I have become über involved in volunteering at school and I participate in some church activities. Throw all that in with taking care of a home, taking care of two kids, homework, reading, baths, packing, moving, unpacking, family get togethers and whatever else, life can get overwhelming. 

Before the kids were in school, we had very leisurely days. Leisurely as in we didn't have a lot of plans and we didn't go many places. We also lived in a small town during most of that time. And it was so nice not *having* to do anything. 

I spent time with the kids, did house projects, read, cooked, and just did home related things. 

I've learned lately that I miss that so bad. I love being a wife and mother and a homemaker. 

I want to be more relaxed and focus all of my attention on my family. Not that I am not currently focusing on them, but I could be focusing all my attention and be a lot more relaxed while doing it!

In saying all of that, those are the reasons that have led me to make the decision I'm making in our life. I believe this decision will give me back more time that I have invested in other things this past year. 

Don't get me wrong, I have been doing good with what I've been doing, but that doesn't always mean that it is right for my family at this time. 

My family deserves the best me and that's what I'm working on giving them.

f/9  1/500  Iso 400

How the obsession started....

It started with curiosity.

And having a sick kiddo at home.

I went to Pbs.org to watch Season 3 episode 1.

And then I had to watch episode 2.

Then, I realized, I just needed to start at the beginning.

So, now I'm already on Season 1 episode 4.

I am so into Downton Abbey that it's not even funny.

There are so many things I need to be doing, but I can't stop watching!

So, if you need me, you know where to find me!

Legacy

I am part of the visitation ministry through our women's ministry at church.

Another lady and I go and visit a wonderful 96 year old gentleman.

He still works at the business in town that he founded.

He still drives.

He still goes to breakfast with a group of men every morning.

He works with a son and at least 1 grandson.

 I see him in church every Sunday.

He has a very sharp mind and memory.

It has been so interesting hearing the stories that he tells.

You can see his faith in the way he lives and talks.

Yes, he has had sorrow.  He has lost his wife and a son.

But, today, while I was visiting him and we were talking, he said, "The Lord will take care of me, He always has."

Through 96 years of life, God has always taken care of him.

I want to be able to say that if I am so lucky to reach the age of 96.

I want to be able to leave a legacy of faith like he is leaving.

He has children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren that he is leaving this legacy to.

I wonder who I will be leaving my legacy to?

The legacy will be passed on to people I have not even met yet.

The way I am shaping my life and the way I am raising my children will influence generations to come.

I want to leave good.

I want to leave faith.

I want to tell them, "The Lord will take care of me, He always has."

bullet points

Because that's all I feel like doing right now. 

• I've had lots of PTO stuff going on.
• Getting ready to move in a month! Yes, we are buying a house finally! {more on this another day}
• Job transitions for the husband.  He is working both the new and old job this semester.
• We had some really nice weather and I took the kids to the park.
• Now, we have very frigid weather!
• more PTO work- it never ends!
• I booked our 10 year anniversary trip and I am so SUPERCRAZYCAN'THARDLYWAITEXCITED about it!
• Our Christmas decor is still up outside.  We have plans to take it down this weekend.
• I'm making homemade spaghetti sauce today.  It is also GMO-free.  It's so hard to know if you are always making the right food choices for your family.  We need better food labeling!
• I like how Kindle tells me what % I am compete with a book.  Currently, I'm at 26% of Les Miserables.
• By the way, I really loved the Golden Globes this year! Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are the funniest!
• I would like to start posting my weekly menu again. This week- Monday: we had smoked sausage, Tuesday: leftovers from Sunday, tonight: spaghetti, Thursday: Salmon cakes, and Friday: meatball subs using the same homemade spaghetti sauce I'm using today.
• I'm also going to make this banana cream pie today.

Magic in the Mundane

Last week, I wrote a "day in the life" post everyday. If they bored you, I'm sorry. They were truly only for my memoirs. 
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I started writing in a journal right before Tim and I got married. Although, I did not write in it super frequently, those glimpses into my life during those times is priceless. 

You always think that you will not forget how life is "right now," but I speak as a person with almost 10 years of marriage under my belt- yes, you will. 

As the momma of a 6 & 7 year old, I can tell you- yes, you will. 

I love looking back on simple, mundane posts. Posts where I just say what is going on or what we have been up to. 

There is magic in the mundane. 

It's a quiet magic, one that sneaks up on you as the years pass. It is fond recollections of days and kiddos and life. 

There is magic in the big moments, yes. But, don't overlook the magic in the everyday stuff.

The mundane right now-

Games of Sorry with the kids

Getting in the Thanksgiving/Christmas spirit

Cleaning the house for guests

Anticipating a break from school

Thinking about all the yummy things we will eat over the break- we are a family who really, really likes good food!

Enjoying NO obligations this week!

Anticipating the holidays in general 

Trying to not let seasonal affective disorder get to me until January! Hopefully not even then!

Fearlessly

There are so many other things that I want to blog about right now-

• how much of an honor and privilege I feel that it is to be able to live in a country where we can VOTE.  How much I feel like it is our civic duty.  
• Taylor Swift's new CD.
• the devastation of hurricane Sandy.  It's unreal.
• how my eyes are being opened to how many needs there are all around me.

I probably will blog about most of these things eventually, but not tonight.

I watched a video in Bible Study today.  The speaker was Louie Giglio and the event was Passion 2012. 

It could not have been a more perfect message for me to hear.

I don't know about you, but I was always raised to "pray for the will of God in my life," and to "pray for what my calling would be," and "am I in the PERFECT will of God?"

For so long, I have cried out to God "why don't I know what I'm called to do!"

I'm gonna go ahead and throw this out there, but my life was changed today.

To just give the short of it, we are in God's will where we are.

We are not all missionaries and evangelists and teachers. Some of us are just moms, and doctors, and bankers, and even Nascar drivers (his words, not mine!).

The verse he quoted was this- 

Ephesians 6:19
New International Version (NIV)
¹⁹ Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel,

Wherever we are and whatever we are doing, Lord, when I open my mouth, will you give me words to fearlessly proclaim the gospel?!

In the place where I am.  To the people that I come in contact with everyday. To my children. To my family-

Lord, give me the words to fearlessly proclaim the gospel and do Your will.