Let it be Jesus

I went to a local women's conference tonight and Lysa Terkeurst was the speaker. It was so great and she is an amazing speaker- so full of humor and God's wisdom. I have more to say about it, but that will be for another time.

Right now, let me back up. 

God has been stirring in me for the past several years. The only problem is that I haven't exactly done what I know I'm supposed to. It's pretty hard laying that out here. 

I can't give any one reason for the disobedience. I feel the same call over and over and over. I always feel like I'm going to comply, but then I never do. 

Now, I'm not talking some big life change. I'm talking about the nitty gritty of my relationship with God. 

You see, I love God and I know I'm saved but I don't spend time with Him like I should. And the ways that I spend my time instead are not ways I should be spending my time. 

Maybe from reading here it looks like things are good and I have everything in order. 

By all accounts, life is not bad for me, it's actually really good, but I need to admit that I'm a mess a lot of times. 

Part of that mess is due to health issues, but I'm so impatient and I'm irritable a lot. I don't show that in public but if you were at my house a couple of days, you would have no doubt. 

I feel like I have such selfish tendencies. 

The reason I'm saying all of this is because I feel like it is something I'm supposed to do. I feel with every fiber of my being that I have to get my self in a state of obedience. 

You see, I went to that conference tonight to hear Lysa speak, but God spoke to me during the worship before she even began. The worship team sang this song: 

Let it be Jesus
The first name that I call
Let it be Jesus
My song inside the storm
I'll never need another
For me, to live is Christ
For me, to live is Christ
God I breathe Your name above everything
Let it be, Let it be Jesus
Let it be Jesus
From the rising of the sun
Let it be Jesus
When all is said and done
I'll never need another, Jesus there's no other
For me, to live is Christ
For me, to live is Christ
God I breathe Your name above everything
Let it be, Let it be Jesus
Should I ever be abandoned
Should I ever be acclaimed
Should I ever be surrounded by the fire and the flame There's a name I will remember
There's a name I will proclaim

Let it be, Let it be Jesus

"God I breathe Your name above everything"
That one part was all I needed to hear. I know my call right now and I feel such a command to obedient. That just came to me. It's been a call, but now it feels like a command. Is that what happens before you chastised? I don't know. All I know was that it was strong. Whatever God has for me, right now I know that I need to be with Him, seek Him, become immersed in Him. I know that should sound so simple, but it's such a struggle for such a selfish person. I have a very big struggle with how I spend my time and it has to be broken. Will you pray for me if you think about it?