Tuesday, July 28, 2015

the truth about struggling

I really try not to post complaints and woe-is-me on the blog very much. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or not, though. Sometimes it may seem that all I post are the "highlights" of our life and it makes things look really good.

The truth is, I have been struggling terribly since December. The diagnosis of Crohn's disease rocked my world. In January, I started Humira injections. I did start to feel better, but then the major ear infection happened and zapped 5 weeks of my life. It was tough. 

Since then, I have felt somewhat better, but just not myself. I have had zero motivation. 
It's like my joy has been ripped out of me. 

We went to the beach at the end of June and half way through the trip, I started feeling awful. I felt a little better when we got home, but at the end of VBS (the first week of July) I started getting sick again. 
The next week, I was diagnosed with walking pneumonia. I finished up that medication and felt better for a day or two. 

Then this past Friday night, I started getting an awful headache. By Saturday morning, it was the worst headache of my life. I also had fever. We ended up at the ER in the afternoon. They ran numerous tests, but I decided not to do a spinal tap and therefore, I don't know for sure if I have meningitis.

I'm not really sure why I am sharing all of this. I just have been struggling. 
But, I also have not shared with hardly anyone how much I have been struggling.

This morning, I read on Instagram from a few a my friends about a local lady who passed away yesterday. She was around my age and had 2 children under 2 years old.

My head just reeled. I feel so ashamed about being so down about my situation. 
At least I'm here to experience life, hard as it can be.
Life is really giving me the what for this year, but I pray that somehow I can regain my joy.

I don't know why things happen the way they do in life. I don't know why this young mother was called home. I don't know why I'm enduring a period of suffering. 

Will you join me in praying for her husband and children?
And if you want to add a prayer in there for me, I would appreciate that too.


  1. I will pray for you and for their family. Life is hard and sometimes we don't share our struggles so to others it looks like they are walking through life's hard times alone. We all struggle but seldom share it. Don't feel bad for sharing your struggles and allowing people to pray for you. Life is the hardest thing to live, but it is also the most amazing! Good luck with finding your joy and I hope to find mine again soon too. I have been struggling myself but hope to regain joy and see the beauty this life has to offer more soon.

  2. Just stumbled on your blog today for the first time I guess for good reason. Will be praying for you Lenette!!

  3. You are allowed to feel down about your situation. You really are. It's better to be open and honest about it than try to bury it deep down within you. God already knows how you're really feeling anyway. I pray for you every day. I pray for you to be comfortable and feel well and for joy. Pain is such a thief of joy. To lose someone so young is always a shock. I don't understand that, nor do I understand why someone as genuinely good as you must suffer. I don't entirely understand well, a lot of things that have happened in the past several months, but still trust in God. I honestly don't know how those who don't trust in God survive.

  4. We all have moments with those awful health issue and it is nothing to be ashamed of for you to vent some. It will pass and hopefully it will be soon. Prayers with you and your family😀

  5. We all have those times when we struggle especially if they are health-related issues. You haven't felt good in a very long time and I think you're entitled! It is true, I guess, that things could always be worse, as is the case for sweet Leslie's family (I'm devastated for them). I'll say a prayer for you to be able to find joy again and for peace over your situation.


I always love hearing from you!