I'm not even going to pretend that my first year of college was heavenly. It was a crazy roller coaster. Poor decisions on my part. College began and I really seemed to have a hard time adjusting. Looking back, I really had a hard time adjusting. It just shocked my entire being. Maybe I had been too sheltered and not seen enough of the world? Maybe I didn't have enough mentoring? Whatever the case, it was rough. C on the other hand was flourishing. He was involved in athletics and he was rushing and pledging a fraternity. The changes were so hard for me to handle. I was too draining on him because of it. He decided to have us separate for awhile. I pretty much lost it during this time. Then I met another guy and things went from bad to worse. I felt so out of control during this time and I was not always making the smartest choices. C was in and out of my life. He wanted to be there but not all the time. And he was jealous of the other guy.
Something ended up happening to me that changed the course of everything. It broke C and I. It changed me. I'm so thankful that I stayed in school through everything that happened that fall and the next spring. It's very personal and something that I don't wish to delve into, but it was HUGE. It is still one of the worst things that have ever happened in my life. It is so strange too, that only a handful of people know about it. I guess that is how it is though, when it is personal and tragic. Things were never the same. C and I were no longer together. At all. I would never be the same person. It had rocked my world and I had to figure out how to move on with everything. Even now, writing about it, brings back so much emotion.
But, I did move on. I moved out of the dorm after May and moved into an apartment with a friend. This only lasted through the summer. We just weren't that compatible as roommates. I had made a new friend in one of my classes and her and I decided to get an apartment together. She also wanted to include a friend of hers that she went to high school with. Oh boy. Was this ever an interesting time. Sophmore year of college. I was now working at Brangus Steakhouse. I loved waitressing. It was fun and I made great money. C still called occasionally and the guy that I met during freshman year still called some also. That fall, I began to meet some guys from another fraternity, KA.
Many of them lived in the same apartment complex I lived in, Riverwood. It was a hopping party area. By this point, I had become quite a party girl. Once again, not always making the best decisions. My friend, A, that I had moved in with and I got along great. Her friend, S, and I did not. And S's boyfriend despised me. I'm not really sure how all the animosity started, but it was awful. Also, some of my checks were stolen during this time and forged and I lost about $600. I filed police reports and the bank did reimburse the money. During that time, I was convinced that S had been the one that stole the checks. However, the police investigated and the girl that stole the checks was caught. It was not S, but a girl I worked with at Brangus. A girl that I thought was my friend no less.
I met lots of new people this year, but the two that stand out the most are one that became my best friend through college, and the one that became my college love.
to be continued...