What the parenting books don't tell you about

I have something that has been weighing on me deeply for awhile now.

I have always been pretty confident at this parenting gig.

Not like, ooh look at me! I have it all together! More like, I think I've got this.

Since my kiddos are Irish twins, everything we have dealt with has been back to back. And it's been great.

The hubby and I loved looking at the developmental milestone charts to make sure our kids were "on target."  And it was nice to have a "guide" of sorts.

However, around the time that kids start school, things start to change.  They are more independent.  As a parent, you are not reading books or milestone charts anymore.

At least, I'm not.

It's not only about physical and emotional needs anymore.  There is so much outside influence and morals to deal with now.

One day you wake up and think, what am I doing?!

Am I raising them right?

They are growing up too quick!

My heart hurts!

Why did the books not say how bad it would hurt to see them get bigger?!

I am at the point of having a 5 1/2 and a 6 1/2 year old.  They are big kids now. I won't have another baby. No matter how many photos and videos I have, they still grow up.

I know I have savored the days. I know I enjoyed the absolute most out of them growing up.

Some days, it physically hurts my heart.

Not to mention that everyone I know has babies, toddlers or preschoolers.  I feel like the only person I know who has big kids only.

I now understand why older mothers have so much to say about their kids and what their kids did and how much they miss it.

I'm going to be one of those mothers.

So, have some patience with me and those mothers.  We are not trying to be pushy or give advice, we just really miss our babies being babies.