How I'm feeling about bin Laden's death

I want to write how I feel about the news we received last night that Osama bin Laden has been killed.  As my husband and I sat on the couch watching the President give his address, I started wondering why I didn't feel much.  I mean, I remember how I felt when 9/11 happened.  I remember how I felt each time one of my brothers were deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan.  I remember the worry I would feel each time for the duration of their deployment.  I feel worry now as I type this because one of my brothers is scheduled to go to Afghanistan next year. 

I sat looking at the tv last night and as they showed old footage of bin Laden, I saw a man.  A man like any other man.  I thought of what his life was like.  What he thought, what he believed.  I thought about how he has sinned just as we all have sinned.  Was his sin worse than my sin?  Who am I to judge another human?  What right do we have to take others lives.  What was the right thing to do in this situation?  Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that he should have been left alone.  Justice needed to be done, but I don't feel like celebrating.  I just feel empty.  So many people are still dead.  Al Queada is not stopping just because of this.  My brother will still go to Afghanistan. 

I watched as people gathered in front of the White House and cheered.  I did not feel like cheering in any way.  I am always so proud of our military and everything they do.  They did a remarkable job with this, but still.  I don't feel like cheering.  On Facebook, everyone was celebratory. 

I just think about how much our world and country has changed since 9/11.  Those are things that can't be undone.  One man's death will never change that.  I'm so proud of our military, but yet I'm so grieved for the loss of life our country has endured during these past 10 years.  I'm sad that I have missed time with my brothers because they have been overseas.  I'm sad that our people hate so many people in the Middle East.  The radicals are crazy, but there are people over there like you and me.  Families who are raising their children.  Yes, they believe differently than us. But they are people just the same.  Maybe that's what saddens me the most.  The feeling of hate that I see.  Not only to other peoples, but people in our own country.  Try putting a Democrat and Republican in the same room these days discussing politics and see what happens.  I see it on Facebook all the time.  One side always thinks they are right and smarter.  No one will be swayed.  It's "my way or the highway." 

It angers me so much.  I don't claim to be either.  I just want what's best for our country and people.  I wish more people could be like that.  I feel like we would get so much more accomplished. 

 Right now, I just feel the need to pray.  For what?  I'm not sure, but I sure don't feel like celebrating.